New steps into the world.

... Or something like that.

I'm currently finding myself in my comfy little baw-box, where I can relax with my stupid thoughts. I've been there for a while, and though it's a negative box, not everything seems to be bad. I've thought through things about myself, about my personality and style and how I want to change for the better. I mean, I can't walk around being all "baw, I'm so tragic, boooh" all the time. Also, I should start thinking through what I say and what I do, and also stop raging all the time.

So then the thought hit me like a bullet train. How do I want to be? Who am I, and what do I really want to do with my life? I have no clue, to be honest, but during the latest months I have started to feel pulled towards more feminine lines. I am more interested in shoes than certain games, I enjoy shopping for clothes and so on. Who would have thought that? I mean, I'm manly after all. I catch myself trying to fix my damn hair all the time, to make sure it doesn't look bad... >_>
I have no idea what's happening to me.
So I've considered, as I am starting to enjoy the small happy girly-things, and also gotten more interested in designs. (of course, it's not gone so far that I want to design anything yet, I just find deigns fascinating. It's not something I wanna do for a living, though). I should try to be more feminine. Perhaps I will get more lucky on the love font as well then. >///>
I mean, sure, I joke around about being forever alone in the future. But to be honest, it's not something I truly want to. (I totally sounds like some lovesick bastard).
Anyway, though I am afraid to admit this to myself and the world; I basically want to become a woman. A more mature person who is more secure of herself, yet I hope to keep my humor.

*cough*ThereforeIamgoingtotryapplyingmakeupatsomepoint*cough* it must be done.

- Ai