Finally an update ~

Oh god, I am so sorry for never updating this thing anymore! I keep on forgetting I have this blog. D:

Anywho, as usual nothing much is happening. I'm going to some conventions, hopefully, and I am having having some trouble with my depression as usual. xD
Going with Teci and Ailin to BanzaiCon in April, really looking forward to it as I will cosplay for the first time EVER. 8D
I shall be Italy from Hetalia, which I believe I have mentioned a million times before in earlier posts. > u >

Also, I am going to Desucon in July and maaaaaybe I'm going to LFCC just to bother Vic again. >_>
I have nothing better to do, so I hope people will join me there. It's the 6th-8th July if anyone wanna go with me. <3

Oh, going to Sweden with Kèrri, that's gonna be fun. I love her house down there, it's lovely ~

Hm, what else? I've figured out for sure that I have gotten a crush on one of my best friends. And now I'm scared shitless as I have no clue how to handle this. I've never liked anyone before, I mean, last time was when I was... 8-10 years old! That doesn't count, kids are young, they know nothing. So I am all new in this "having a crush on someone"-thing, and especially when it's a girl WHO is one of my best friends! D:
Thing is, I think she likes some other person. No wonder, we barely see each other. She lives across the country. About 7-8 hours with train, which makes it difficult to just visit her too. It costs money to travel. ; n ;
Meeting her at Desucon, though. That'll be great. <3
But really, I'm too scared to confess too, as I don't wanna ruin our friendship. Plus I'm terrified of being rejected. ; n ;

I'm sorry, ignore my whining! Sheesh, I'm not supposed to be like this, I'm supposed to be tough. Not some lovesick brat. >_>
Ignore me, it's just me thinking, err, loud. > n >

Over and out ~
- Ai

Quick update.

Hi you all.

As normal I have forgotten my blog completely, but I guess it doesn't matter. As usual I have no interesting updates.
I've spent the last time trying to work on my drawings, but I have cornered into block again.
Made a new character, his name is Julestjerne (though his TRUE name is the latin form; Euphorbia Pulcherrima):

He's a shy flower fairy, and "Julestjernen" (Christmas star) is the flower he is. He has a small form as well, his fairy form, but usually he keeps the appearance of a teen around... maybe 17/18 with bushy, red hair.

I'll try to have a more proper ref done for him.

He's a shy and timid guy who stays out of trouble, and he doesn't usually speak much. He is a bit childish and naive as well, but he always try to protect those he cares about. He can't fight at all, though, and he dislikes fire. He need water daily to live.


Also... Started to re-watch Naruto Shippuuden. I like the art style, alright? Deal with it.

- Sara

A little update ~

Oh god, it's been ages since I updated this dusty thing. As usual things aren't really happening, so I haven't been able to think of anything to write about.

I am currently waiting for my first proper cosplay; Italy Feliciano from Hetalia. <3
It's really exiting, I can hardly wait for it to come. Also, gonna use it at a convention in Larvik called BanzaiCon, which is being held 13-15th April. I'M GONNA MEET AILIN!! YAY!!
*cough* Anyway... *cough*
Have been doodling a little as well, though there is nothing interesting. Written some on small, different Hetalia fanfics as well. Working on some weird hybrid-version of "me" and "Teci" in the Hetalia world as chibies. It started out as a wannabe version of the Chibitalia style, but ended up with some new style on my own. xD
*shows preview thing*
Hopefully Teci will be so kind and color it for me. <3

Tried out some different styles, it feels like my art is starting to develop somewhere now. I still don't know how or why, but it seems like I am getting a lot of inspiration from Teci-chan. > v >
Again, I am sorry for running off with parts of your style... ;;

Other than those boring updates, the café me and Teci is working at during Thursdays are going fine. Though it is quite annoying that we don't get our money the way we should. We are supposed to have a firm system where we get about 200-300 kr for the ingredients we need for food, but no. Of course we don't get it, because the person who is supposed to fix it is too LAZY. ARGH! *rage*

Oh, and just a little fun fact-thing; Never listen to France's character song before you fall asleep. Really.
My grandmother woke me up this morning so I would get up in time for school, I was half awake, dreaming about something like me and Japan had to measure the symmetry of France. Idk. So in my mind, granny was Germany who tried to force me to train, so I screamed out "WAIT!! I JUST HAVE TO FIND THE SYMMETRY OF FRANCE!!" really loud. Then I realized what I said, so I went "... I-I AM AWAKE; SHUT UP! I'm c-coming.. Symmetry... Need the symmetr.. Symmetry? Why would I even..?" then I sat up. it was beyond embarrassing and I am really happy it didn't happen while I slept over at a friend's place. xD
According to granny, I had been mumbling about France for nearly an hour as well. Why HIM of all characters? Why not Prussia? ; n ;


... Have a free doodle I did in class just now.

- Sara

Doodles and non interesting updates

Hey again.

I really don't know how to update this thing anymore, nothing is happening to me. Should prepare for a presentation on a song and an artist, but my nerves have gotten to me now. *in class*

Been doodling a little I suppose.

Dat spider, I guess. xP

- Sara

Uncertainties and other humbug.

Didn't know what else to put up for a title. Felt like I should update this thing, as it's been a little while since last time.

I don't really have much to talk about. Been sick for a week, having the flu. Not that anyone cares. xD
Tried to doodle a little, but lately my mood have been at the bottom. I'm stressed and I have too much on my mind, so I don't feel like drawing much. Basically I have grown tired of everything, and I don't know how much more I can stand. I don't even know why I feel like this, there is no reason for it. It's just... It feels like I'm tired of everything there is. Myself, my art, I'm tired of being tired, tired of not knowing who I am, tired of wondering about personal issues, tired of being paranoid... I'm sick of everything, hopefully I wont wake up tomorrow.

Anyway. Going to buy christmas presents soon. Hopefully people wont be angry at me for not getting them anime junk this year. Hehe.

- Sara

Art spree, much?

Nah, not really.

Nothing's going on today. I'm sitting in math class, not understanding a shit. My mood level is at maximum EMO at the moment, so I'm exploring Paint Tool Sai a little. *laughs sarcastically*
Going home today, will waste my little time free from exhaustion on Supernatural and Clannad otome I suppose. Perhaps some doodling, I dunno.

Sneak peak time~

Oh, the anatomy.
Will try out new shading and such, perhaps play around with some shiny effects, I'm not sure yet.
... Hush, I know the anatomy is way off. Ugh. Those arms.

Anyway, not sure, but I think I have broken a great friendship. It's probably for the best, as the things he is doing can ruin his future and me and my friend's as well, yet I can't help but to have this icky feeling inside. We had a rant out yesterday, and I have to admit to myself that I don't know if it's wise that I hang out with him anymore. Tried to talk with him over the phone today, but he kinda brushed me off and didn't say much. Is it my fault that he is doing what he's doing? I'm starting to seriously wonder now, I seem to have that.. depressing effect on people.
So I've might lost  great friend whom I have considered as a brother for nearly 4 years now. He saved me during, err, middle school or junior high? I always felt like I owed him my life, and now it's ended like this. Great. *goes off to die in a corner now*

Don't think I have anything else to say. See ya all.

- Ai

New steps into the world.

... Or something like that.

I'm currently finding myself in my comfy little baw-box, where I can relax with my stupid thoughts. I've been there for a while, and though it's a negative box, not everything seems to be bad. I've thought through things about myself, about my personality and style and how I want to change for the better. I mean, I can't walk around being all "baw, I'm so tragic, boooh" all the time. Also, I should start thinking through what I say and what I do, and also stop raging all the time.

So then the thought hit me like a bullet train. How do I want to be? Who am I, and what do I really want to do with my life? I have no clue, to be honest, but during the latest months I have started to feel pulled towards more feminine lines. I am more interested in shoes than certain games, I enjoy shopping for clothes and so on. Who would have thought that? I mean, I'm manly after all. I catch myself trying to fix my damn hair all the time, to make sure it doesn't look bad... >_>
I have no idea what's happening to me.
So I've considered, as I am starting to enjoy the small happy girly-things, and also gotten more interested in designs. (of course, it's not gone so far that I want to design anything yet, I just find deigns fascinating. It's not something I wanna do for a living, though). I should try to be more feminine. Perhaps I will get more lucky on the love font as well then. >///>
I mean, sure, I joke around about being forever alone in the future. But to be honest, it's not something I truly want to. (I totally sounds like some lovesick bastard).
Anyway, though I am afraid to admit this to myself and the world; I basically want to become a woman. A more mature person who is more secure of herself, yet I hope to keep my humor.

*cough*ThereforeIamgoingtotryapplyingmakeupatsomepoint*cough* it must be done.

- Ai